Friday, May 18, 2007

How do you retire a date?

From time eternal, humans have this obsession of noting down the date and time when something important happens, be it at an individual level or at level of religions or nations etc.
A birth is noted to the exact second. Death too. Some people even note down the day they bought their first lawn mower!!!
Whats in a date? Isnt it just one more blip in the long progression of things? People are born everyday ..and sadly people die everyday. Well yes we can celebrate cherish and do all such sweet things people do, so that they can desperately cling on to a past good event, feeling etc.
The Question is "What do you do with could have been significant days"? The ones that were significant sometime back or the ones which you thought would become significan but didnt? Like the date when you met the girl who swept you of your feet and then knocked you flat on your face and left you bloodied? Or say the date of a wedding which never took place? Or maybe the date of your parole which didnt happen for a crime which you didnt do in the first place?
How about the ones where you have the big event, but it has no significance in your eyes but seems so to everyone else?
You remember the dont want to cherish it, you cant commomerate it. You want to pretend it didnt exist! You want it become as insignificant as the day that follows or the day that precedes. In short you most definitely want to forget it.
Day comes you wake up .....Bam it hits you....Its is the day or today was the day...
What do you do then?

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Staring contest

I won a little staring contest today.

Kinda like the contest an old man with diabetes has every day with the goodies in his cooler.

The goodies..they dont care.... they sit there all day in the fridge..... in all their cold deliciousness... tempting and tormenting the poor man's soul. He walks back and forth the room, thinking contemplating ...resisiting. He falters, grabs the door handle, yanks the fridge open...and stares longingly...his hand even start making the move to grab it and gobble it and devour it....

He resists.

In another earlier time, there would have been no contest...goodies 10-0 ..old man KOed first round. Well not now, not anymore. He remembers the KOs. He remembers the heart attacks. The trip to the emergency rooms..the near death experience.

His resolve strengthens. He goes the distance. He walks away grabs a glass of water....and goes back to sleep.

I won. I won against the poison seeping through my veins. I won temptation. I am sobered by the thought I had to fight so hard even now... even after remembering the heartbreaks....even after the near lose of my sanity..... Yet I won. Doesnt matter if nobody notices or nobody knows why or what I won. It doesnt matter if my temptation neither cares or knows this. The manifestation of my temptation can stay cold and comfortable in its perch laughing at its power over me..

All that matters is today I won...I will take it one day at a time.. will not give up so easily..I will not go.....

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Maya of life

Pain is pleasure.
Pleasure is pain.
Hurt and happiness
Is one and the same.

Now is then
Then is Now,
times may change
Yets themes are same

I didnt bring
Nor will I take
It was here
t'shall remain rooted here

His became mine
Mine became his,
his is someones someday,
Nobody owned, Nobody lost

She is her
Her will be she
The who will change!
Is love then same?

....... inspired by the gita

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

Friday, December 15, 2006

"Maktub" Its written

The meandering journey slowly and painfully drags to an end. I am lost, yet in trying to find my way, I had kept going in circles. Like a man in a maze, I convinced myself that it isnt the same thing which I have happened upon ten times. I somehow missed the- red keep me straight- strings I had tied on my way in.

So now, I listen to the same song in endless loop trying to figure out a way in breaking the concentric circles which constrict the arteries in my heart. Vague disquiet, calmness, and restlessness all coming up in waves. One moment am mad as hell, next moment am calm as a river.

So it is written. The shepherd must leave the bakers daughter. The moors call. Yet the head turns back one last time to see if she runs to me from behind the curvature of the arid land I leave in my wake.... I make a mental note to myself...this is the last time you will look back........

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra
The title and theme alludes to "the Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.
First drafted on dec 12 2006.....published first on 2 feb 2007

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Breath of life, O My sweet breath of life,
Thoughts of you, Oh These thoughts of you,
Why is it in air that I breath?

Breath of life, O My sweet breath of life,
Song that I sing, Oh This song that I sing,
Why does it spring from your fragrance

Breath of life, O My sweet breath of life,
The ecstasy of first love, Oh The Ecstasy of this first love
Why does it freeze my lungs,

Breath of life, O My sweet breath of life,
Will my hands touch thee..Will my eyes see thee,
Will thee let love blossom?

Breath of life, O my sweet breath of life,
I lost my life blood whilst
I stole your heart,
I lost my life blood whilst
I stole your heart,

Breath of life, O My sweet breath of life,
To gain that I lost, I Wish to see thee
Will I see thee again?

O my sweet breath of life, sweet breath of life....

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

Translation of the Song..."en Swasa Kaatre" from the Movie with same title.

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The relationship between us and the air we breath...can we call it love? ..isnt the connection more deeper than love...

En Swasa Kaatre

en suvaasak kaatRae suvaasak kaatRae neeyadi (2)
un ninaivugaL en suvaasamaanadhu aenadi
naan paadum paattae panneer ootRae neeyadi
mudhal mudhal vandha kaadhal mayakkam
moochchuk kuzhalgaLin vaasal adaikkum
kaigaL theeNdumaa...kaNgaL kaaNumaa...kaadhal thoanRumaa
en suvaasak kaatRae suvaasak kaatRae neeyadi

idhayaththaith thirudik kondaen
ennuyirinaith tholaiththuvittaen
idhayaththaith thirudik kondaen
ennuyirinaith tholaiththuvittaen
tholaindhadhai adaiyavae maRumuRai kaaNbaena
(en suvaasak kaatRae)

Movie Name: En Swasa Kaatre (1999)
Singer: Chithra K S, Sreekumar M G
Music Director: Rahman AR
Year: 1999

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

Mouth's Scythe

Bricks and bats, break your bones
Knives and spears pierce to wound
Sweet poison, death and sleep
The tongue, it breaks your spirit

Bones do mend, Wounds they heal
Poison hath cure. Doeth spirit?

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Faked his own Death

I have become a fan of this quirky sitcom " My name is Earl". Its about a man atoning for his sins to get rid of "Bad Car-ma". I like it for its throwback narrative style and simple plots. The episodes go like this, earl picks a wrong he did in his life and tries to right it and we get a few laughs and some moral lessons along the way.

Talking of moral lessons the episode titled " faked his own death" stuck a chord with me. We are all guilty of going through lot of subterfuge to avoid a situation. When we do not know how to face a situation, which maybe sensitive, delicate or difficult we simply cook up ways and means to avoid it rather than face it.

I have done this too. When I was young I once avoided seeing my favorite person, a role model, my physician for many months. The reason, I avoided her was that she had lost her husband and me not wanting to deal with facing issues around death and loss, I simply chose to avoid her. I thought if I avoided her long enough, I could avoid the sadness associated with her loss. Well the fact is I did manage to avoid dealing with it, but I could never look her in the eye again because of the guilt. I still remember it years later (more than 15 years actually) and I regret not being there for that person.

Since then I have learnt that its better to deal with situations, be matter of fact about it, than be an ostrich. Yet its hard sometimes and I am still guilty of doing it occasionaly. Thus, I have sympathy for people who bury their neck in the sand at the first sign of danger.

Coming back to the episode, the protagonist regrets staging his own death inorder to avoid having to break up with a clingy and needy girl friend. Its on his list and he tries to fix it, this time going the "its not you but its me" route and ends up getting together with her again, even though he doesnt want to. After some quirky and hilarious moments he resolves the issue finally by telling her as is. As a result he gets the guilt free breakup and she becomes a stronger independent person albeit hating him strongly.
Thats the kind of ending I like...

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

P.S The title is a hyperlink to watch that episode.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Theekul viralai vittal - Caressing Fire ( version 2)

In the ravens black plumes, I see your dark radiance O' Nanda
On sylvan crowns, I see your lush green O'Nanda
In all that I hear, I hear your sweet music O' Nanda
Through the singeing caress of an orange flame,
I feel your rapturous presence O' Nanda.

An Ode to Nanda Lala ( Lord Krishna) by Bharathi translated from tamil.

-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra

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