Staring contest
I won a little staring contest today.Kinda like the contest an old man with diabetes has every day with the goodies in his cooler.
The goodies..they dont care.... they sit there all day in the fridge..... in all their cold deliciousness... tempting and tormenting the poor man's soul. He walks back and forth the room, thinking contemplating ...resisiting. He falters, grabs the door handle, yanks the fridge open...and stares longingly...his hand even start making the move to grab it and gobble it and devour it....
He resists.
In another earlier time, there would have been no contest...goodies 10-0 ..old man KOed first round. Well not now, not anymore. He remembers the KOs. He remembers the heart attacks. The trip to the emergency rooms..the near death experience.
His resolve strengthens. He goes the distance. He walks away grabs a glass of water....and goes back to sleep.
I won. I won against the poison seeping through my veins. I won temptation. I am sobered by the thought I had to fight so hard even now... even after remembering the heartbreaks....even after the near lose of my sanity..... Yet I won. Doesnt matter if nobody notices or nobody knows why or what I won. It doesnt matter if my temptation neither cares or knows this. The manifestation of my temptation can stay cold and comfortable in its perch laughing at its power over me..
All that matters is today I won...I will take it one day at a time.. will not give up so easily..I will not go.....
-thus sprung the ganges through the locks of rudra
